Disclosure
Affiliate links are used in this post. You can read my full disclosure here.
What is a Puberty Box?
The Puberty Box is my own creation, or if there is already one, then I am unaware at the time of writing this. It was based on all the first-period kits I have been seeing floating around the internet, but those only focused on periods, and I wanted something that included the other aspects of puberty. This is essentially the box I wish I had received when I was a teenager.
I chose to use a box because I think a box is a really nice container for these items. I am also undecided if I would give my child all the items on this list at once, or if I would give them as I feel they are developmentally appropriate, which is why a box would be great because I could continue to add items to the box as she grows.
So with that said, it does not necessarily have to be a box. It could be a gift bag. It could just be a shopping bag. It could be a plastic storage container. You may not even need a bag or a box. You could just place the items on your child's bed. The most important thing is the items.
Please note: Making this box does not mean you don't have to talk to your child about puberty. That is still very important. I touch on the importance of teaching sex to teens in a previous post that you can read here. I would even suggest giving your child these items after having a conversation about them so they know it is coming rather than making it an awkward surprise or maybe you can even add it to the box together.
Now let's move onto the contents:
What Should I Include in a Puberty Box?
1. Hygiene Products
For most girls, the first sign of puberty is getting your period. I had the unfortunate experience of getting my first period without having had any prior sex education. I was blindsided at the age of nine, which is why I plan to have this conversation with my daughter when she is seven or eight.
Before buying any feminine hygiene products, I think it is important to discuss with your child what they would like to try. There are many options now such as cloth pads, cups, tampons, disposable pads, and there may be even more I do not know about! After getting an idea of what your child would like to try using, pick 2-3 options to include in the box so when their first period happens, they are prepared and can learn what works or feels best for them.
2. Period Underwear
I don't think period underwear was a thing when I was a child, but I wish it had been! It's so comfortable and would have helped prevent some embarrassing situations. It's important to note that a pad or tampon may still be necessary if you have a heavy flow and to only use the underwear as a backup.
3. Wipes
Let's face it, periods are messy, especially on heavy days. As a child, I would often make my own wipes using toilet paper and water. This was easy at home, but not so much at school. Having a package of wet wipes would have been wonderful for on the go.
4. Blank Notebook or Journal
Give your child a blank notebook or journal and explain to them that if they ever have a question they are uncomfortable asking you directly that they can write it down and leave it on your pillow or another location of your choice. This will also allow you time to do your own research should they ask something you may not have the answer to. You can return it to their pillow or the location of their choice later.
Body changes, relationships, and sex can all be difficult topics to discuss in person. More than anything when I was growing up, I wished for a parent I could talk to,. However, I think even if I had been able to, I would most likely have preferred to write down my questions and have them respond by writing back, which is why I think a journal or notebook is a great option.
5. Books
I strongly recommend and encourage you to talk directly to your child about sex, but it does not hurt to also provide them some extra reading materials. Two books I recommend are Your Moontime Magic by Maureen Theresa Smith, which focuses on periods and body changes, and In Case You're Curious by Planned Parenthood, which answers many questions about sex, periods, consent, and relationships.
6. Sex Toys
How old were you when you started masturbating? Do you remember what you did? What you used? How unhygienic was it?
I started with questions because I know this one is going to be controversial, but maybe after you have taken the time to reflect on your own masturbation history, you'll understand why giving your preteen a dildo, vibrator, clitoral stimulator, etc, is one of the best things you can do for them.
However, don't just give it to them without any explanation! Talk to them about pleasure and how certain touches can feel good. Explain to them that there are toys designed to help and are safe for the body. Explain the importance of cleaning the toys when they are done using them. Then you could include them in the selection process for what toys they may want to try. Also, please do not purchase your sex toys from Amazon or proceed with caution as there is a high risk you could get something that is fake and not safe for your body. The ones I have in this post can be found at Target.
Some might say nine is too young, but some nine-year-olds do masturbate. I was in middle school, so around twelve, when I started, just to give you an idea of when you might want to talk to your child about pleasure.
For those who can't remember what they did or were not very creative as a child, here are some things I have heard from others (and a few are from my own personal experience): stuffed animals, glue sticks, the wall, bathtub spouts, ball post on a bed, M&M mini tubes, markers, hairbrush handle, barbie doll legs, blankets, pillows, etc. The list is endless! And I doubt any of them cleaned up afterward, I know I didn't. It's amazing I never got an infection! NONE of these should be inserted into the vagina. Please inform your child how to safely masturbate using their hands and provide them with sex toys that are designed to be safe for the vagina.
Also, another benefit to providing sex toys for your child is that if they can pleasure themselves, they will be less likely to seek pleasure elsewhere. They may hold back on having sex.
7. Birth Control
Birth Control is an item that would likely be added later, but keep in mind some kids have sex as young as 14. Although usually, the ones that do it sooner are the ones that aren't educated, so you may be able to wait till 16 or even later depending on your child.
In an ideal world, your child would come to you when they plan on being sexually intimate and the two of you could work together to decide which birth control is best. However, to be on the safer side, it might not hurt to add a few condoms to their box. I would make sure to include different sizes as you do not know their partner's fit. Also, condoms do expire, so make a note of the date so you can replace them later if needed.
I focus on condoms here as they are the only defense I know of against STDs (besides abstinence, which is unrealistic). If your child chooses to go without, make sure they know the risks and heavily encourage them to have themselves and their partner(s) tested regularly.
8. Pain Relievers
Now, this may not be included in your child's box for safety reasons until they are older and more responsible, but definitely have it on hand and let them know it is available if they need it.
I have painful cramps during my periods and ibuprofen is my lifesaver. That being said, painful periods are not normal. My painful periods are a result of PCOS. If your child tells you that their periods are painful, it might be beneficial to see a doctor. I knew a girl in high school who was in so much pain from her period that she was curled up on the bathroom floor. We managed to convince her to get help from an adult, and she did eventually go home. I, myself, have even thrown up from my painful periods when I could not get to the ibuprofen in time.
Another thing you can include to help with pain is a heating pad.
9. Acne Products
Besides periods and sex, puberty also comes with acne. Make sure you inform your child of the importance of cleaning their face and provide them some acne products should a dreaded pimple appear.
10. Calendar or Planner
If your child already has a phone, this could simply just be encouraging them to download an app so they can keep track of their cycle. I use the Ovia Fertility app to track mine.
However, if your child does not have a phone, you can provide them a pocket calendar or planner of some sort where they can manually keep track of their cycle. This is really beneficial in the beginning so they can be prepared for their next period or is a great way to see if they have a normal cycle, or discover that their cycle is irregular, which could be a sign to see to a doctor.
11. Bras
Puberty also comes with changes in the chest area. Your child will want extra support for their developing breasts. I personally hate wires, so starting with wireless is a great way to help your child transition while remaining comfortable. I originally didn't think to include this because most moms will go shopping with their daughters to help them pick their first bras, which you can still do and just include them in the box for when they feel ready to use them.
12. Deodorant
Puberty also means hair. Talk to your child about pubic hair, legs, and underarm hair. Some girls may even develop some facial or hair on their stomachs. Letting them know what to expect will help them feel normal. Also note that having hair on the face, stomach, or other parts of the body that aren't common for women could be a sign of an underlying condition. In my case it was PCOS, but I did not get diagnosed until 25 because no one told me this was not normal.
However, underarm hair is perfectly normal, and unfortunately, it can make us smelly, so explain to your child how to use deodorant. You could even have them pick their own scent! And include it in the box for when they feel they need it.
13. Lube
I originally did not include this because condoms are usually lubricated, but for some, I guess that might not be enough. Also, if your child is on other forms of birth control, then they may not use a condom and lube may be beneficial. I think it is very important to educate them about STDs though and how a condom, of all the birth control out there, is the best option to keep them safe from sexually transmitted diseases. If they choose not to, then they should at least make sure their partner(s) has been tested.
I also think it's important to teach them about pleasure for this reason because most vaginas will naturally lubricate if physically aroused. Foreplay is very important and in all my years, I believe I only ever used lube maybe once or twice, and we found it was just too slippery. However, everybody is different, and if you need more lubrication, then it never hurts to use lube. The only exception would be anal, which requires lube no matter what. Lube can also be used on sex toys.
If buying lube, just like sex toys, avoid Amazon if possible. You will also want to do your research as not all lube is made equal and it's not very well regulated, some can contain harmful ingredients or if you have sensitive skin, there are also some ingredients you will want to avoid. Below are the only two options I could find at Target that would meet my standards.
One Item I Would Not Include:
Razors and Shaving Cream
I already wrote a post on why I stopped shaving, which you can read here, but one of the reasons was because of my daughter. She noticed my legs getting hairy one day and said "you need to shave," which she then saw her dad's hairy legs, and told him the same.
She was three at the time and already noticed a societal beauty standard and it left me feeling angry. No one should feel they need to shave. Body hair is completely natural, so I stopped and I haven't looked back. She has never once mentioned since then that we need to shave, so I like to hope it will leave a positive impact on her.
However, I understand school can be brutal. The whole reason I started shaving in middle school was because I heard some girls talking about another girl's hairy legs behind her back. This is a conversation I want to have with her, whether or not she chooses to shave. If she chooses to, then I will explain how to use a razor and show her if needed.
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