Disclosure
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Consent is very important, not just when it comes to sexual activity, but any activity, and some of the games we played as kids and teens, lack consent. The following games, in my opinion, should no longer be played.
1. Truth or Dare
This popular game walks a fine line of being consensual as you are basically forcing someone to tell you something or to do something that they are told, usually something they don't want to share or do (as that's kind of the goal of the game right?).
I remember playing this as a kid and questions got way too personal and some dares got dangerous. I've had friends that would refuse to answer a truth or do a dare, and then they were ridiculed by the others.
It may also encourage lying as that's one way to get around a "truth" question. It's not like they know you are lying, though some kids will be very adamant and taunt back "you're lying!"
Maybe there is some way this game can be changed to be more consensual, like if you could back out without being called a "poor sport," but it might be best just to send this game to the grave and play charades or Pictionary instead.
2. Spin The Bottle
Honestly, I have never played this, and I think this game is already dated. It only seems to show up in old movies and shows. I think it's important to bring it up though as the game is still referenced a lot in pop culture.
For those unfamiliar with the game, In Spin The Bottle, participants sit in a circle. One person spins the bottle and then they have to kiss whoever the bottle lands on.
I personally think Spin The Bottle can be okay as long as everyone playing is genuinely consenting and would genuinely be happy kissing anyone in the circle, so basically, well-informed adults playing. However, that often isn't the case as it's often used as a way for teens to pressure other teens to kiss. It's designed to be an awkward game and not kinky. Being coerced is not consent.
I think this game is already dying thanks to modern times where education is beginning to teach more about consent.
3. 7 Minutes in Heaven
A more intense version of Spin The Bottle is 7 Minutes in Heaven. In this game, two people are chosen to spend 7 minutes kissing, often in a closet or separate room. Sometimes Spin The Bottle is combined with 7 Minutes in Heaven as a way to select partners, but drawing straws or names out of a hat are other methods.
Like Spin The Bottle, I believe this can be consensual if used with a group of well-informed adults. However, it is once again, often a game played by teens to pressure other teens. As a result, the kisses aren't always consensual.
I believe this game is also dated, but as it appears in pop culture references, it is still important to discuss.
4. Honey, Do You Love Me?
The first time I ever heard of this game was at Welcome Week in college. Our campus guides (older college students) thought it would be fun for all of us new freshmen to play and it was painfully awkward. We also felt obligated to play and I, having anxiety, was unwilling to speak up and say I didn't want to play.
In this horrible game, you all stand in a circle, one person is chosen and they have to go up to another and ask "Honey, do you love me?" Then the other person has to respond with "Baby, I love you, but I just can't smile." If they smile or laugh they become "it," and then it's their turn to try making someone else smile or laugh.
Sometimes this involved unwanted touching as you try to get someone to laugh by touching their cheek or leaning on their shoulder, definitely not consensual.
So maybe, like Spin The Bottle, this game could be okay if everyone consents to play and maybe there are some rules established like "no touching," but as I mentioned before, social pressure and coercion often force others into playing, and then it's not consensual. Personally, I loathe this torturous game and hope no one else will ever have to play it.
Have you ever played these games? Can you think of any other childhood games that negate consent?